Take me back

I've recently joined Facebook. It's cool to be able to talk to people at home but not actually talk to them. I'm not good on the phone.

One of the things I don't like about it, though? The fact that people you know from home but have never actually talked to mark you as their friends. Case in point: a girl who is dating a guy I've known since the 2nd grade.

He's in the Air Force, just graduated basic last month, and is at tech school where Kyle went. He's going to be a crew chief on the F-16s. (For some super coolness regarding Kyle and his jet, click here.) I was looking through her pictures of his AF graduation and felt this strange feeling...was I surprised to see this guy with his shaved head and blues on? Sort of. But mostly...I was jealous.

Jealous!

Then I started asking myself why on earth I would ever want to go back to that time in my life. Kyle was away. I got to talk to him three times in six weeks (which is actually pretty good.) Then he was away for almost four more months. It was awful. Seriously terrible. I don't know why I would be jealous of someone who is where I was this time last year and is one thousand miles from her boyfriend. Not even her fiance or husband, boyfriend. (I'm not knocking the fact that they're just dating...I just think it's a little different when it's your fiance or husband.)

I think I just didn't cherish that time enough. I was so proud of him. Walking around San Antonio with him in his blues was the best feeling in the world. It's bringing tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Those three days in San Antonio were absolutely precious.

I read something today about the fact that we tend to remember the bad times in our life. We can recall them more quickly than the good times. I think it's because the good times tend to fly by us. I honestly wish I could remember those three days, the week in Wichita Falls, or even my own wedding as well as I could remember the many, many meltdowns I had while he was gone.

I bought a little journal at Michael's today. I didn't need it and didn't know what I was going to do with it but it was cute and had a pink M on it. I have a journal that I write in when things get bad. I don't know where that journal is. I know where my new one is and I know what I'm going to write in it.