When I was a kid, I totally felt special. I think we all did. We were taught that we're very special and there's only one of us in the whole entire world.
In high school, I felt much less special. I felt like a huge outcast. I didn't drink or do drugs or party at all. I wasn't outgoing and I had very few friends. (When I quit cheerleading, I had no friends.) Apparently people asked Kyle and his friends how he could date me because he is so outgoing and I'm very shy.
When Kyle was hanging out with his friends, I was happy to be home watching a movie by myself or sewing. As time went on, I began thinking I'd rather be one of the girls who drink and party all the time. I knew that wasn't me, but I thought maybe it could be. Maybe Kyle would like me more if I was more outgoing and could hang out with him and his guy friends. Sometimes I wondered why he was even with me.
More time passed and we got married. Now I feel like much less of a loser when I'm home on a Friday night watching TV by myself. I have a whole new life and I love it. I love that for the first time in a long time, I feel like I fit into my life. Does that make sense? I don't know if it's because I'm getting a little older or if it's because I'm married. Either way, I'm happy.
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2 comments:
I think you should not be or feel pressured to do whatever that doesn't make you comfortable. If sitting around sewing and chillin makes you happy why not? it's you, it makes you special and clearly he saw you for it :)
Awww. That made me smile. The end I mean. Not the feeling out of place in high school part, although I totally relate. Completely.
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