Project Runway Season 6, Episode 1

Project Runway is back! I have to admit, I went into this season a little skeptical. It's on Lifetime? Ugh. I swore to myself I'd never watch anything on Lifetime.

I was pleasantly surprised, though. Most everything was kept the same. However, I recorded it so that I could fast forward through the commercials and I am so glad I did. I cannot take their commercials. Romantic comedies, Sherri Sheperd's new show, lady products, more romantic comedies...you get it.

I had a lot of clever thoughts during this episode. I vocalized them but the cats don't understand fashion so I'm going to share them with you. I'm not going to discuss all 6097 dresses that went down the runway last night (watching it, I was like, "GOOD LORD. How many more could there possibly be?!") I'll talk about the winner, the loser, a few that caught my eye, and some random thoughts I had. We'll do this all season.

Challenge: Create a red carpet outfit.
Guest judge: Lindsay Lohan

Let's start with the loser, Ari.

Listen. We understand. You're a hipster. You're into conceptual fashion and you're a little off the wall. That's fine. But this? This is what you chose to send down the runway as a red carpet outfit? She said it was for "the VMAs...2080." Um. No. Not even in 2080 will people be wearing crap like this. Not only is it hideous but it looked poorly made. One of the hexagons right in the front of the top was crooked and wrinkled.

And her poor model. She's a gorgeous girl but Ari had her styled to look like Dr. Franken Furter. Look at the her, she looks like a drag queen.

And did anyone else make up off-camera scenes where LiLo mistakes Ari for Sam Ronson? No? Ok then, let's move on.

Christopher won this challenge. I like Christopher.

This is cute. I found myself wondering why on earth she was wearing that glove, though. He could have lost that. I totally agreed with Heidi about the ruffle fabric looking dingy, as well as Tim telling him to be careful with the styling. That's a little boring. He could have done something more with her hair and it would have taken it to a whole 'nother level. I was very glad that Christopher won (but let's be honest, there weren't a whole lot of winners on the runway last night.)

There was one other dress that I really liked, though...

I really liked Irina's. The bodice is to die for (although that color looks awful on her model, it totally blends in with her skin.) The skirt is flowy in the way that makes me stare at it and try to convince myself that that's fabric. I could see someone - an actress who escapes me at the moment - wearing this on the red carpet and not getting torn apart by the fashion police.

This on the other hand? Not so much.

Michael and Heidi fawned over Johnny's dress. ("It would be so chic in black!") Clearly they were looking at a different dress than I was because this looks like he just draped fabric all over her front and just covered her booty in the back. I can go get a spare bedsheet right now and whip this up. I wouldn't even have to sew it, just twist it up on my body. It had no shape and did nothing for this girl's body. There was a comment (I think from Miss Lohan) about how the color isn't right, which brough on the "it'd be chic in black" comment. If this were black, it would be the most boring, shapless dress ever. I think she'd get ripped apart on the red carpet.

And then there was Mitchell.

I seriously don't know where to start. This is so awful, I feel like I should be typing in all caps because it enrages me. IT'S JUST SO FREAKIN TERRIBLE. His original plan wasn't much better, though. I saw it and shouted, "WHAT THE EFF IS THAT?!" The collar is just so wrong. It's SO heavy and Victorian, but also very 1972 prom. Just...no. I wasn't surprised that he wasn't eliminated but I was surprised that he did not get ripped a new one by the judges. Nina said she felt this energy from it and knew that he was capable of making beautiful clothes. NINA GARCIA SAID THAT. Lifetime must have told her to turn the bitchy down a notch because any other season, she would have beat this designer into a bloody pulp. Verbally, of course.

Which brings me to my next point about Mitchell. He's a doll. But backstage he said that he was nervous to hear Heidi and Michael's critique. I was like, "Really? You're worried about Heidi and Michael? Heidi couldn't be mean if she tried and Michael has never been too harsh but Nina? I'd be worried about Nina." (Ok, so it was really more like, "YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF WHAT NINA IS GONNA SAY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!")

When Heidi was annoucing who would be auf-ed, she said something like, "Mitchell? Your dress blah blah blah" but I'm sure she was thinking something along the lines of, "Mitchell? This dress is a piece of shit. Without a doubt the worst thing that has ever come down this runway. Worse than that basket hat crap Vincent pulled and yes, even worse than Santino's ice skating outfit. The fact that you're staying, is nothing short of a miracle. You need to come kiss Nina Garcia's feet because everyone else wanted you gone."

Something I noticed this season with the models (I didn't watch Models of the Runway, BTW) was that they have no boobs. PR is usually good about finding models that look like, well, models but also look healthy, not skin and bones. There were a few dresses that went down the runway with what looked like...I don't know. Like, the model didn't have boobs but the dress did. It was strange and I didn't like it. I don't know if the dress was ill-fitting, if the design was for a girl with boobs, or what but I hope I don't see that anymore. It was borderline disturbing.