It's not uncommon for me to feel bad about myself. Actually, it's more likely that I'm down about myself at any given moment.
Yesterday I went snowboarding for the first time. Kyle and I and one of his friends hung out on the bunny hill almost all day. I was doing pretty well but I couldn't grab onto the lift and I couldn't stop so I'd just have to fall to stop myself. I couldn't help but feel bad that Kyle was spending his time with me on the bunny hill instead of on the big hill like he's usually on. He said it didn't matter, he was teaching me. When I went in to warm up and get some coffee, he went to the big hill. (I didn't mind, I was glad he finally got to do what he wanted.)
Later that night, a bunch of people came over, including one of the guys' girlfriend. (Hello grammar police, where are you?) She was visiting so of course she came, I was actually kind of excited to meet her. Until I met her. She was a total badass, piercings, tattoos, drinking beer, and generally being one of the guys.
And then there was me. Sitting in the corner of the couch in my pink shirt, curly brown hair, falling asleep because I didn't want to watch Pineapple Express again. So of course I'm comparing myself to her and it's no competition. She is clearly a cooler chick than me and my Amy Butler couch pillows.
I want so desperately to just fit in somewhere. I've never really got along with other girls and I don't really fit in with guys. Maybe I'm a little too uptight. I probably am. A few drinks will help with that but I don't want to have to drink to feel like I fit in, you know?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
You're special because you're you. Why want to be someone you are not, right? I know its easier to say, but look at the guy likes you better because you're you. Teaching you in the snow sounds soooo romantic
I'm guilty of thinking the exact same way. I think a lot of us ladies are. I compare myself to anyone I'm around. My hair vs. thier hair. My round face vs. thier thin face. Are they thinking I'm boring? Am I saying stupid things? Will they want to hang out with me again? Where do I rank in the infinate levels of cool?
Lady if we ever PCS to Alaska, you'll totally be #1 on my cool chick list.
aw. :(
So ive decided IM going to talk tim into re-enlisting into the Air Force.
Ive met, Tia, you, and my friend Steph...and youre all pretty sweet. Well, I haven't met you and Tia personally (but Im meeting Tia next weekend!!!!@!##%$!#!) But you two seem like pretty sweet ladies.
I seriously get along with almost everyone. Drinks do help. haha.
(ps my word verification to post this was vagnea) thought you might like to know.
i just knew that when i was older, like the older kids i knew, i would be cool, like they were cool. i'm still waiting.
hey, i think you're pretty cool. (not just 'cause of the birthday thing) gotta love who you are and others will, too...they already do. :)
my captcha was ivenpre not nearly as hilarious as jess's
Post a Comment