Hey, how's it going? Things seem to be going well for you, what with the TV show and all. I'm writing to ask you a few favors.
1. Please stop being at every event (or non-event) that celebs are at. I'm sure that it's annoying to the celebs but it's also annoying to me. Instead of going to bed at a decent hour, I'm looking at pictures of Nick Hogan's car crash (feel better!) or that very sad video of Anna Nicole in Bozo makeup. You're making me waste time.
2. Please stop luring me in with things like Britney's dog's will and Nicole Ritchie's unborn baby's first word. When I think about it, I don't really care, yet I still look and read.
3. Please stop making my computer go crazy.
I think these are all do-able, k? And could you please tell Matthew McWhatshislastname to start returning my phone calls? I know that you have photographers taking his shirtless-workout beach pictures this very second.
XO-
Megan
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