Klutzy McGhee

I wouldn't call myself graceful...I also wouldn't call myself a klutz. Unless I'm talking about today.

It started in my Lit. class. We were finishing up our group presentations. These are painfully boring to listen to because a) I can't keep track of what anyone is saying and b) I can barely hear them...which might be why I can't keep track. Anyway, after listening and trying to follow the first girl, I gave up and decided that it's a good time to get started on my homework. I get out my lit book (which is only the biggest textbook known to man) and my folder. I put my purse on top of my bag, making sure that it's not going to fall.

Five seconds later, it all fell. Nothing spilled out, thankfully, but it fell.

So I pick it up and start on my homework. I have a desk that, I swear, was made for Webster. This thing is so tiny. It took me a minute to position it so that I could read the book, look at the paper with the questions on it, look at the paper with the list of poems I'm supposed to read on it, and still have my paper to write on. Not an easy task, but I did it. And I'm reading these poems and answering these questions. Then my folder fell. I am convinced that someone just pulled it out from under my arm because there is no other explanation. It fell to my right so I started scooting it across the floor with my foot. And of course it made noise and of course these people are still presenting but somehow no one notices that my folder is on the floor and I am in some sort of advanced yoga pose trying to get my foot on it so I can scoot it. Nope, the guy next to me looks like he is really into this presentation but I know he's not. He's also not into helping members of his group get their folders off the floor. So I finally get it scooted just out of my reach. The freakin desk is too small, the feet of it are too close together, and the folder will not go through! So I say, "screw it" and leave my folder down there. 3.5 seconds later I said, "I need that folder NOW." So I just push it over the opposite way, lean over the side of the desk to grab it, and look up to see one of the guys who is waiting to present. He is staring at me and I'm pretty sure he saw the whole folder meltdown.

Then I got home, got a shower, and got out. Because I can't stay in the shower forever. I'm trying to save the planet, yall. I grab a bottle of lotion. The lotion inexplicably falls out of my hands, BOUNCES, and hits my poor little dog. I apologized to her and gave her little kisses on her head that I'm sure she hates. I go to put the lotion away and drop it again.

I'm sewing up a pincushion...I drop the scissors. When scissors hit a hardwood floor, it's loud.

I hope this is temporary because I don't want to be a klutz.